Do you ever get a burst of creativity that must be fulfilled or you will explode?! I'm having it right now, and I can't find a good outlet for it, so I'm going to write :)
I want to take a long walk on a beach right as the stars start to come out and the moon is shining just for me and you. I want to feel that glow on my skin and see it reflected in your perfect blue eyes. I want those blue eyes one me and nothing else. I want your hand in mine and i want to spin around in a bubble of happiness. Forget tomorrow. Forget next year. Just be with me now! Just laugh with me and listen to me giggle nonstop. Hear what I have to say for what it is today, don't let the future crowd your vision. Of course I WANT a future with you, but right now, it's far too painful to think about. let's have a perfect day and don't distort it with worries and doubts and fears that will never be gone anyhow. I'll always be afraid. I'll always be praying for you like my life depends on it, and i just want a day to NOT think about that. A day to bask in the spring sun and feel the wind fly right through me. Take a picture in time of our smiles, so we can look back on the hard days and see that we had joy. we had a happiness at one time, and it's not all this big tangled mess of hellos and goodbyes. We are more than coming and going. We have a story to tell and it's full of so much more than what happens this summer or next.
I wish a camera lens could capture emotions AND experiences. Because just a shot in time isn't enough. I want to remember everything! what it felt like when i ran in to your arms and what it felt like when i left you, tears close to falling. when my skin became cold and you warmed it right up. when i wanted to just be alone, but my dad was breathing down our necks, and i loved it. I love that my Dad cares about my relationships! I love that my family cares about you. They want to know all about you and so do I! I feel like there are still worlds of things I don't know about you and I'm so anxious to learn! When will I never know enough? When will i ever feel like I know you so closely that I know what you're thinking. When?
