I feel so helpless. I know being there for you isn't really my place, but I'm desperate to. I want to be your savior...but that is such a deceiving statement, because it's impossible. It's not even a dream of mine. Not even a goal. It's just a passing whim that I long to fulfill. I'm so in the moment with you, and I don't think further than one step ahead of me, when in reality I know that 100 steps down the road your face will be a distant memory and these feelings will only betray how well I've lied to myself. It's sickening how I twist who you are to fit my ideals. It's sad how I want one thing, but when I can't find it I compromise to make you that perfection that I dream of all the day long. I'm so good at making up stories...but I'm so afraid I won't even live out a single one. It's a part of my hopelessness I suppose.
