I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I'm sick of self pity parties. And I'm sick of being told I deserve them. I mean, yes...this hurts. Yes, I'm not a priority. Yes, I deserve better...I should never settle. But how do you decide what's best for you when one minute you're the happiest girl in the world thinking you somehow won yourself the most handsome gentleman in the world....and the next you're hopeless, broken, rejected, ignored, and praying your little heart out for reconciliation and resolve. Maybe it's just a trial I'm supposed to push through and prove to God that I am faithful and I trust him...maybe every relationship involves some amount of suffering. I just don't know anymore. Being an over analyzing girl is not fun!! And if all these questions and complaints end me up alone...well I will be so disappointed. I've never been good at goodbyes...I already gave so much of my heart to him. I feel like a Taylor swift song. Haha! Alright, well. Just gonna keep praying. For wisdom, for strength, for pure thoughts and motives, for trust in God's plan! Even when man let's me down, God is there! Huuge comfort in this time of my life. I'm sorry for being an emotional roller coaster these past few days :P
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