My mom asked me a really tough question the other day..."Is it more than just feelings?" whoa. She's so right! When you date a guy or even like them, you are seriously talking about your FUTURE with them! It's not gonna be a great marriage if its based off of temporal feelings. Dangerous basis for ANY relationship!! And so at first I was terrified. Is all this based plainly on the mixed up emotions of two 18 year olds trying to make their love last? Or is there more to our "love"? I was very challenged by that. I want me relationships to be God honoring! I want to glorify God with any guy I love! It's very important to me. So I started brainstorming, and there may have been a few tears...and I realized I really feel like I'm in the right place right now. There definitely was a time where I felt all wrong about it, but once I surrendered it all to God I felt this HUGE different. Anyways, I can tell you specific character traits that he has that I adore and ways that he would be a great spiritual leader and ways I see him interact with others, and things I hear about him from others that just further confirm my love for him! What a relief. It isn't ALL feelings, although they are certainly there. and let me tell you! Over miles and miles of space and telephone wires it is very hard to justify those feelings sometimes. because words can be so deceiving! What someone emails or texts to you can be so far from the truth. And after months of not seeing someones beautiful blue eyes you start to doubt...but just making this mental list of his attributes and what I see for myself from God in my relationship, I could already see the miles shrinking between us and I was reassured. I don't know, maybe I sound like some stupid love sick teenager, and I probably am, but this is just the facts being laid out. When I was in my greatest place of fear and doubt, God and the Holy Spirit reminded me what was of the greatest importance and my priorities began to change and I feel right. I feel like I'm perfectly positioned for this place in my life. yes, it may change. yes, there may be heartache. Yes, none of us are immortal, especially a brave soldier...but all the sudden I realized it was all worth the risk. Hurt is INEVITABLE, and God did NOT design this life to be lived safely. So I'm stepping out! And praying it pays off.
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