I love that burst of happiness within you when you can't hold in your smile! It just spreads like fire across your lips, and you do a silly little dance. You see his eyes reflected in every one's face, you're consumed. You can't even remember a better day. Then the sadness comes crashing in like a tidal wave and you wonder where it all went. You wonder where his strong hands went. You wonder where his protective embrace vanished to. Where? Where are you? But maybe he never existed in the first place, it's just that comforting fantasy we all have within us. To be loved. To be cherished. To be held. We want that happiness to never end. We want that excited smile to be more than just once. We want some kind of miracle. When's he coming back? Surely he just forgot.... We lie to ourselves to feel whole. We lie to ourselves to "fix" what was broken. Let's face it, we were all born in pieces, and I even doubt if we'll ever out it all back together...but why blame it on him? What did he do? He stepped in at just the right time, and stepped out just as the curtain closed. He knew his timing perfectly, he didn't overstay his welcome. Yet we blame him for his perfection. Kind of sad. But I suppose it's our syndrome. Our sickness. Our weakness. We connect love with high expectations. Ew! Maybe I need to step back, re adjust my glasses, feel what it means to be alone, and then step back into the light ready to sing. I need to sing with confidence, whether there's someone beside me or not. Life's just a big song anyhow, right?
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