I want to be the girl that is so full of life you can just SEE it in my eyes, hear it in my voice, and when I give you a contented sigh, you'll know it's because I'm so alive and wouldn't want my life any other way!! But sadly, I don't know if I'll ever be that girl. Sure, I'm happy. and I smile and giggle a lot. and I'm a total goof ball sometimes...but there is a lot of turmoil that keeps me from being my happiest! But then again, doesn't everyone feel that to a point?? Yeah. I think so. If not, you must have the secret to life!!! Please share it with me :D But what sets apart those incandescently happy people? What makes them that way?? I mean obviously those who believe in something outside of themselves have this great, vast chasm full of joy, because with a God as awesome as mine, who wouldn't be?? But then we live in this fallen, utterly disgusting place...it kind of kicks you in the stomach, and i can never seem to catch my breath enough to smile. At least not a genuine one. It just seems impossible to be that happy.... But don't get me wrong, I am NOT depressed and I don't hate life! (Even though I say it when I'm feeling dramatic and having a pity party...haha.) But I cannot fathom some people's joy...I guess it is an ever present struggle that some hide better than others! I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve, so I doubt you wouldn't know when I'm having a bad day. Trust me, you'll know!! But then again, you would definitely know on my good days too! :) God gave me laughter and I definitely don't take it for granted!!! ♥
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