Sometimes I have so many thoughts in my head I can't even speak them. There are too many. This is a place where I can take all the time in the world to just spit out all the stuff in my head that needs to be said. Every thought needs to be spoken. Every word needs to be heard. Why hide all those valuable feelings you're having? Why try to stuff them away into the abyss of your mind? Pointless if you ask me.
That's why I write. Because I was never gifted with speaking my mind, so I must use these fonts and characters and words to type/say what I need to. I am not brilliant, I'm not a prodigy. I'm just Kaitlyn Nicole, trying to make a small difference in the world, one typed word at a time. Unlikely, right? But I suppose it is worth a try. Most things are.
So here I sit listening to "Another one bites the dust" in my little house in the a cornfield. It's raining out, and I am longing for the sunshine more than I ever have before, and that is saying a lot. I'm a summer girl at heart. I've never been a fan of winter and cold and ice. I like warmth, and heat and the simple kiss of sun on my skin. Perfection. I've always loved the fluffy clouds, and the blooming daisies. I was never meant for this climate, full of snow and wind whipping through your pores. It isn't pleasant at all, no matter what they tell you. It isn't "refreshing" or "beautiful". It's just plain cold and miserable. Are you catching my negative vibes here? I don't know how I could rephrase it any other way.
On the positive side, I am feeling my creativity blossom as summer welcomes itself in my soul. I feel my fingers moving through magazines, snipping out inspiring words and pictures. I see vibrant colors and textures all over my home. I can't see anything without art entering my mind. I'm art driven I suppose, though a lot of people wouldn't know unless I told them.
I heard once that passion gives way to purpose. Then I thought, well art has always been my passion...is that wrong? My purpose shouldn't be found in art, but in God. Maybe I have some re-prioritizing to do here. But then, I can always use art to perform God's purpose for me. Through art my purpose is found. I just know art has some important role to play in my life, and if it doesn't...I have no idea what I'm doing here right now. I guess life always takes crazy twists and turns though, completely unexpected and surprising. Maybe art will take on a completely different form than I'd ever expected in my life. Maybe art as I see it now isn't at all how God planned it. Maybe I'm more than just a brush or a puppet God is moving too and fro to create the perfect masterpiece...because who's perfect anyways?
