It's amazing how listening to one song can bring it all back again. I thought I was past this...thought I'd moved on, and then all the emotions come flooding back in. The tears, the pain, the desperation...It all sounds foolish when I read it back to myself, but here I am. Owning those foolish emotions. I can't pretend they never existed, or that he never did! But I'm torn between hoping for the future...with him. or just knowing it wasn't meant to be and I need to open up my heart again to someone else. The weird part is I have considered it recently...someone has caught my eye! Something I swore would never happen. But maybe it's those blue eyes. Maybe it's that smile that brightens my day a little. Maybe it's the fact that I'm finally being pursued. But am I just caught up in this new opportunity, trying to fill the void? Or is this real? I can't tell yet. and I hate to rub it in his face...but I did. I wanted him to see that I can move on. I can succeed without him. I can do great things even with a broken heart. Well, it's not broken anymore. God healed it, he really did. But the scar is there, that I cannot deny.
Anyways. Listen to "Locket" by Lauren Alaina, and maybe then you can start to feel what I've been feeling for a year and a half or more.
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