It's so good to just cry sometimes. In the shower. Just let the tears roll down, unashamed. Letting the sobs shake your body, quietly letting escape your pain. I know it sounds depressing, but it really is healthy to just let it out. How long can you hold in heart break? How long can you suppress hurt?
We are all human. And human beings make mistakes. That's why I can't believe I put my complete trust in one! What was I thinking! Only God is worthy of my trust, yet I let myself believe that he was perfect. That he was my prince, and he was worthy of me. But he is just as sinful as I am. He is just as fallen as Adam and Eve in the Garden. He isn't infallible.
How did I create that image in my head? How did I let myself get caught up in some "perfect" man that cannot possibly exist? And how can I be sobbing now over the heart break when I set myself up for it?! I knew this, from an early age. Man will disappoint you. Time and time again. WITHOUT FAIL. Yet, I chose to ignore that fact to make my perfect fairytale. How selfish. How ignorant. How naive.
I learned my lesson. and hopefully I will be a stronger, more level headed person because of it. God, help me to trust you FULLY. not just in the big things. but every matter of the heart. They belong to You. You alone.
