I fight within myself. I fight with feelings and accusations and words not spoken, but imagined...very vividly. I fight with God. I fight the future. I fight reality and I fight myself. I fight my desires and I fight my needs. I fight responsibility and I fight my family. I'm a fighter...which is good for survival, but can also be detrimental to myself! When I'm constantly battling within myself about silly issues and even life changing issues I'm never able to rest! The opponent is myself...and as long as I'm alive and breathing, the fight will continue! I'm not gonna bow out gracefully or surrender. I've always been stubborn that way. And I'll be honest, I'm very scared of what's to come...when it comes to college, moving away from my parents, and when it comes to him. Yes. Him.
But there's not enough time to consume myself in battle. At least not an inward battle. There are many more worthy fights all around me that I have withdrawn from for selfish reasons and I must re-arm myself and get back in the fight because I'm useless in this stage. I'm a coward in this stage. I hope that I can become the conqueror and coheir that Christ desires me to be!
