You know what is the hardest thing I've had to do this year? Surrendering!! I am such a control-freak. And I never even knew it till this year. and so I've been constantly working to give up the reins to God. It's so hard!! and I pray that I will be strong in this new commitment to submission, but even in my prayers I find myself trying to control everything!! I don't just pray and trust. I pray and then try to foresee the upcoming circumstances and how God will work within them. As if I can predict how the All Mighty God will respond to my prayers. Yeah, I just need to chill. and then I do this dumb thing where I pray my little bootie off and feel all good about myself, and then I realize, duh, kaityn. You haven't even read your Bible in 3 days!! How do you expect to see a change in your stubborn little heart if you aren't listening to what God's word has to say to you?! Yeah. My reasoning skills are not to good. But I intend to change that! WITH GOD'S HELP. not alone. because obviously I have proven to myself, it doesn't work! So there we go. This is my proclamation to be better. My proclamation to learn to trust and to really surrender...EVERYTHING. amen.
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