So I haven't had the motivation to write really...and I don't feel like there is much to write about. But here goes nothing. Basically all the sudden life means a lot to me. All the sudden everything is so meaningful and important. Brian did that for me. Well, really, God did. But it was through Brian. Like I can't believe how much I take for granted and how many times I nonchalantly saw "bye" as I walk out the door when that could be the last time I ever see my family again. You never know what's gonna happen the next second. There is no "life-plan", we think there is because we tend to try to control our lives, but we can't really. It's not in our hands. Death is inevitable...but it only makes me live my life more fully. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared to die. Death is just a part of living and when it happens is irrelevent. It's the days and moments preceding that moment that really matter. THAT'S what you will be remembered for. Your death is just a given. Your life...that's special. It's not guaranteed. It's not something you can bet on. It's completely unpredictable...but that's why we love it so much. That's why I love it so much. Someone died...Brian died. It was a tragedy. It was full of bittersweet tears...but also, it woke me up to the life unlived. MY life unlived. To the untouched canvas of my short life and the colors that were waiting to fill it. What am I waiting for again? Life isn't worth wasting...ever.
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