Tuesday, August 10, 2010 9:26 PM,

The most heartbreaking thing...seeing someone so stubborn and set in their ways that nothing can penetrate them. It just bring tears to my eyes to see such a tender heart completely hardened to the truth, totally cold and closed off to any thing but their predetermined beliefs and feelings. How do you get through to someone so difficult? I would search my Bible for so long just looking for that perfect verse that I knew would HAVE to reverse their thinking, only to realize that they wouldn't even give the word of God a second thought. It wasn't a standard in their minds. In their world, truth is relative, and there isn't black and white...only gray.
I've been hitting a wall lately, wondering how God's word is truly as powerful as it suggests if some people are so blind to it. Of course I am not doubting God's power. I have no doubt that God is the absolute King of the universe, but I do feel a deep confusion on many issues in my life when I see people so set against the only saving power in the world. Their only hope...and they shun it and desensitize themselves to it's healing words. I wish I could just thump them over the head until their concrete hearts shatter and I can let God's calming peace rush in the cracks. But I know that's the whole point of Christianity. It's a choice. I can't force anyone to believe what I do. It has to be a sincere decision in their heart. And as long as they wear their protective covering, perfect for keeping out the truth, I can't get to them no matter how hard I pound them.
Only God has that power, but even He, in his majestic, authoritative power wouldn't go against the will of one of his children. He wants it to be a genuine cry for help, not a forced submission. He wants a relationship, and sometimes someone's stubborn bones will never be broken into that submission. Sometimes we just have to wait, and call them softly, wooing them to the truth, even when we know deep down that we may never ever penetrate that shield they hold up so steadily despite the scrutiny of every man around him. Not that Christians should be judging them, but we do tend to look down on them to some degree, and that's probably another reason the shield has held up so well. Why would they want to submit to such a hypocrisy? I wouldn't. But alas, I have seen the light, I have been beckoned to the truth and I cannot and will not leave it's light.
I see through their hardened hearts to the delicate web of lies they have weaved for themselves, continually telling themselves that they don't need saving, that they are good enough just the way they are. That they were somehow born into this denial. How could they be so deaf to the truth screaming into their ears? How could they be more wrong?
All I know is that prayer is my most powerful and effective weapon at this point and I will use it to the best of my ability no matter how grim the outcome may seem. I am a warrior and I will not be broken by one hardened heart, or a million. I am unstoppable.

"The warmth of your embrace
Melts my frostbitten spirit
You speak the truth and I hear it
The words are 'I love you'
And I have to believe in You

You are the truth
Out screaming these lies
You are the truth
Saving my life

My hands are open
and You are filling them
hands in the air.
And I worship."
-Flyleaf, Red Sam
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